Vendredi, 17 février 2012

IL TATOUE SON CHAT

Un tatoueur russe de profession a eu l’idée saugrenue de tatouer son chat.

 

Geste singulier qui n’a pas été sans soulever une controverse. Des protecteurs de la vie animale ont vivement protesté, considérant cette fantaisie comme cruelle. « L’artiste » a riposté en affirmant que le félin n’a rien ressenti car il a été préalablement anesthésié. Il ajoute de plus qu’un vétérinaire se trouvait sur place pour lui porter assistance, si besoin est. Le tatoueur a gravé dans la chair animale l’expression Carpe Diem. Des linguistes ont relevé malicieusement que le tatoueur a commis une faute dans l’inscription, écrivant Carpe Deem en lieu et place de Carpe Diem.

Des experts consultés se sont faits vite rassurants, la faute disparaîtra avec le tatouage qui va, dit-on, se dégrader rapidement jusqu’à devenir illisible.

UNE VALENTINE NUE
          À L'ARRIÈRE DE LA VOITURE


On ne vous a évidement pas tout dit sur ce qui s’est passé ce fameux soir de la Saint-Valentin. En tout cas il y a une valentine qui n’est pas près d’oublier ce qui lui est arrivé. À Portland, un couple a voulu pimenter leur rencontre amoureuse par un jeu de rôle sexuel où la dulcinée a été placée nue et la bouche scellée avec du scotch tape dans le coffre arrière de la voiture, à la vue d’un possible passant. Et c’est ce qui s’est produit. Un automobiliste étonné de voir la dame ainsi contrainte a noté la plaque d’immatriculation. Aussitôt, des autos-patrouilles de police se sont précipitées au domicile de monsieur. Le couple a été mis en détention pour trouble de l’ordre public.

MISHA LA CHIENNE
      QUI PERTURBE LES MESSES

La sûreté judiciaire de Valence, en France, a dépêché une escouade dominicale pour tenter de mettre le grappin sur cette chienne dont la photo que voici à été envoyée dans tous les commissariats. C’est que pour des raisons inexpliquées cette bête, baptisée de son nom de code Misha, a une manie particulière. Chaque dimanche que le bon Dieu amène, l’animal pénètre dans une église au hasard et au moment de l’homélie du célébrant se met à japper de toutes ses forces. Juste le temps de perturber l’office religieux et de prendre la poudre d’escampette. Serait-on en face d’une chienne bouffeuse de curés? En tout cas, si ça fait rigoler dans les chaumières du département, c’est le diocèse qui la trouve moins drôle. On a décidé de mettre fin une fois pour toutes à ces manifestations singulières en organisant une surveillance étroite des temples.


ELLE SNIFFE DE LA POUDRE POUR BÉBÉ

Décidément on voit de tout en ce bas monde. Imaginez que dans le cadre de l’émission américaine «My strange addiction», une habitante de Houston, au Texas, prénommée Jay et âgée de 28 ans, a confessé être une dépendante à la poudre de bébé et qu’elle en a reniflé l’équivalent d’une tonne et demi depuis qu’elle a l’âge de 16 ans… Voyant des traces de poudre blanche un peu partout dans la maison, ses amis soupçonnaient qu’elle se droguait, mais étaient loin de s’imaginer à quoi.

LA POLICE RÉCLAME
        L'AIDE DES CAMBRIOLEURS

Au Danemark, c’est la police de la région de la Zélande du Nord qui a fait appel à des cambrioleurs d’expérience pour les aider à venir à bout d’une histoire de vols en série. On sollicite l’aide de gens qui sont en mesure de les éclairer sur les techniques employées par les criminels aguerris. C’est l’ultime ressource trouvée par les forces de l’ordre pour enrayer ces vols par effraction qui, en une année, ont bondi de 16%


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